musings of a daydream sleepwalker

Survey about 2025 and let's never talk about that year again

2026-01-03T01:35:25Z

What did you do in 2025 that you'd never done before? I don't know if I did anything "new"...

Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't really do resolutions.

Did anyone close to you give birth? I don't think so...?

Did anyone close to you die? Yes.

What countries did you visit? None.

What would you like to have in 2026 that you lacked in 2025? More peace and happiness and less panic and survival mode.

What date from 2025 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? I'm not sure.

What was your biggest achievement of the year? We got my diabetes under control and I lost a little weight.

What was your biggest failure? I dropped out of university.

Did you suffer illness or injury? Sciatic nerve stuff.

What was the best thing you bought? My Lenovo Legion Go S (SteamOS).

Where did most of your money go? Stupid shit and bills.

What did you get really, really, really excited about? Gaming and books.

What song will always remind you of 2025? I don't really have one.

What do you wish you'd done more of? Writing. More experiencing, less existing.

What do you wish you'd done less of? Panicking.

How did you spend the holidays? With my boyfriend, his parents, my mom, and our dogs.

What was your favourite TV programme? A Discovery of Witches, though it was from a few years ago... I just binged it this year.

What was the best book you read? Rewitched by Lucy Jane Wood.

What was your greatest musical discovery? Dua Lipa, I guess. I discovered her song "Levitating" and it was pretty good.

What did you want and get? A Lenovo Legion Go S (SteamOS).

What did you want and not get? Gaming PC. Move into a nicer place.

What was your favourite film this year? I... didn't have a favorite film this year.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 36 and we had cake and pizza.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? NOT facing homelessness towards the end of the year would have been nice!

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2025? At home: nightgowns. Everywhere else: leggings, t-shirts, and flippy floppies.

What kept you sane? Medication, gaming, reading.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? None.

What political issue stirred you the most? We're not discussing this.

Who did you miss? Dad, Craig, Grandpa Dick... I missed my grandma too, but she's still alive, just in Montana. I miss who my brother USED to be. Uhm. Yeah. A lot.

Who was the best new person you met? I med Craig's younger daughter Sarah, who is a lot nicer than her older sister, Cheryl.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2025: I don't always have to fight the pain (mentally and physically) I can just give up for a bit. (I'm stealing this answer).

Who did you spend the most time with? Matt and Taz-Mo.

Quote a song that sums up your year: Not this time.

What was your favourite moment of the year? Seeing Grandma Sherry over the summer.

What was your least favourite moment of the year? The letter about possible eviction over unpaid rent. *sigh*

What was your favourite month of 2025? July.

What are your plans for 2026? Lose more weight, get comfortable driving and get my license... probably several other things.

comments

HELLO KITTY BIRTHDAY CAKE!!!

2026-01-02T02:42:05Z

So I'm getting a Hello Kitty birthday cake. We just ordered it to be picked up on Tuesday when Matt and my mom go to get the Papa Murphy's.

HELLO KITTY BIRTHDAY CAKE!!!

It's going to be white cake and have Bavarian cream between the layers! ^_^

Please ignore the nonsensical text in the image, I just wanted to show a picture of the cake I ordered (I will also take a picture of the actual cake itself on Tuesday).

I'm letting myself be excited about my birthday. Still haven't gotten myself anything small... but I'm thinking on it!

comments

A random kind of fucked up....

2025-12-26T18:42:57Z

So I was browsing Crunchyroll's store page and found a Shou Tucker and Nina Chimera figure set from Fullmetal Alchemist/Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood.

How fucked up is that? Shou Tucker is one of the most hated characters in the series, to my knowledge, and Nina/Alexander is one of the most cursed characters. And they went and made a figure set of them?

~~Even more fucked up is I kind of want the figure set for my collection. Apparently, I am the target audience.~~

I can't wait until Matt's awake later so I can show him.

comments

Sailor Moon Abridged is finally a thing?

2025-11-23T09:01:50Z

It's by the same people that did DBZ Abridged.

I don't recommend watching this if you have littles around... or are at work or anything. Definitely funny, NSFW jokes thrown in there.

comments

Emotional Support Dumpster Fire!

2025-11-23T08:50:10Z

Well, I got what I wanted from one of my non-material recommendation holiday_wishes, a distraction... I'm OBSESSED with A Discovery of Witches, the TV series (thanks to jenniology from holiday_wishes for recommending it)... and I just read a sample of the first book on my Kindle and I want that now, too. Because I'm not much of a TV person, I watch one episode a day, mainly, during dinnertime (and YouTube stuff during late night snack/meal time)... might start going against that and just binge the damn series because it's all I've been able to think about tonight. I've only seen two episodes and I'm hooked.

I also got an unexpected package tonight. Something off of my Amazon wishlist!

( image behind cut )

I know it's a small thing, but it really made my entire weekend. This whole year has been a dumpster fire, so not only is it adorable, it is fitting! I know monkiainen from holiday_wishes on LJ won't see this post (I did thank them in the comments of my wishes post, though), but I do really appreciate the gift.

Not really much else going on. I'm suddenly on a reading kick again, and yet I also want to game or watch A Discovery of Witches. Here comes the Decision Paralysis... that thing that happens where I want to do so many things that I can't decide which of them I want to do most, so I end up doing absolutely none of them.

comments

I need photography books

2024-12-05T01:43:18Z

I need books on photography. Like "introduction to digital photography" and stuff... I looked on Amazon (and Kindle, by extension) and there's so many to choose from and I don't know where to start. *sigh* If anyone has suggestions, that would be great.

I've felt kind of down today. Down and tired, mostly. I think I woke up too early, despite not getting out of bed until noon. Maybe I didn't sleep well, I don't know. I might just take a nap after dinner.

comments

small update

2024-11-27T06:14:32Z

I got another Amazon Wishlist package, this time it was a tin of tea from ororo!

I also made another investment in trying to drink more fluids. I bought a Cirkul bottle because I struggle with drinking plain water, especially from the tap (even filtered). I'm pretty pleased with my purchase so far, the flavor dial lets me add just enough flavor for me to be satisfied.

Here's the Cirkul bottle with my HydroFlask, which has MIO in it. Between the two, I should be getting my sips in, I think.

comments

I'm losing weight!

2024-08-15T22:20:37Z

In my last update, I forgot to mention my weight loss journey. I'm down to 430 pounds, as of my last appointment with the nurse practitioner with the surgeon's clinic on July 24th. I haven't weighed myself since that day, so I might have lost more since then, but my next appointment is September 6th.

I'm starting to see the weight loss, finally. Not in the mirror, but in clothing size. I ordered a shirt from a Facebook group I'm in called Cozy Gamers and I ordered a 5X when I traditionally wear a 6X, with the intent of it being a goal shirt. Well it arrived today and IT FITS PERFECTLY. I WEAR A 5X YOU GUYS. THIS IS AMAZING!

( image behind cut )

comments

365 Questions Meme, January 24th and 25th

2022-01-26T01:18:19Z

24. When was the last time you ate a great deal of food in one sitting?
- I don't even know. It was recently, and it happens more than I'd like to admit. It's a habit I'm trying to find my way out of.

25. Have you ever taught someone else a useful skill?
- I'm teaching Matt's mom how to make use of community resources to make her dollars stretch. Before Matt and I got together, she never went to get food boxes, she never thought about trying to get into low income housing (she's "considering" it right now), or ask for vouchers for clothing or items she might need. Kind of funny that she's in her 70s and I'm teaching her these things... but she's also taught me quite a few things too.

( rest behind cut )

comments

365 Questions Meme, January 21st - 23rd

2022-01-24T04:45:38Z

21. Which is worse, being in a place that is too loud or too quiet?
Loud, which usually sends me into extrasensory overload pretty quickly.

22. Which countries have you been to? Which was your favorite?
I've never been outside the United States, unfortunately. I are uncultured swine.

23. What are some things that initially attract you to the preferred sex?
That's actually kind of funny... because I'm in a VERY straight (well, bi/pan, I guess) relationship with a male, but I most DEFINITELY prefer women. Women are softer, easier to relate to (unless they're being crazy bitches)... plus, I love boobs.

( the rest )

comments

365 Questions Meme, January 1st - 20th

2022-01-20T06:54:38Z

1. How did you bring in the New Year?
- I think I was at Matt's parents with the lot of them. It was a lot like any other night: Matt did a cigar ritual, his parents and Craig mostly kept to themselves, Chance talked to herself all night when she wasn't sleeping, etc. I might've dozed off for the actual New Year Event itself, though.

2. What’s the shortest amount of time you’ve ever worked at a job?
- Three weeks. It was my first job at The Gap at Westfield South Center Mall in Seattle, back in 2007. I mostly did inventory on shipment days (EARLY mornings, holy shit), displays and markdowns, some customer service once the store officially opened. It was during the holiday season and they'd hired so many people that I only got like 10 hours scheduled a week and they often sent me home early because there were too many people and not enough work. I finally had to quit because the manager wouldn't give me enough hours to make going back and forth worthwhile. In retrospect, I should've taken the job at Bath and Body Works that year. Maybe it would've felt more worthwhile and lasted longer.

3. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve ever worked at a job?
- Six months, twice at McDonald's. First was in Seattle in 2008. That was when my mental health issues first started surfacing and rather than facing them like my great aunt was trying to force me to do, I ran back to Idaho. The second time was in Fort Collins, CO, in 2010 or so. It was there that my mental illness symptoms resurfaced and I was hospitalized and had to go on disability, after I'd worked at McDonald's for about six months.

4. Do you have any songs in your head at the moment?
- I'm currently listening to "San Sebastian" by Sonata Arctica on Spotify, so... kinda?

5. Do you have any physical photo albums?
- I have a couple scrapbooks from when I was into that.

6. Which of your relatives do you know the least about?
- My biological father's side of the family, I guess.

7. At what time does it get dark in the winter wear you live?
- I don't even know.

8. Do you plan ahead for your dinners?
- I usually have a loose menu planned when I do the shopping, then Matt decides on which specific days we eat what meal since he's the one that cooks.

9. When was the last time you had to walk up or down stairs?
- I have to walk up two or three stairs to get onto my patio out front... but a FLIGHT of stairs... probably at Crosspointe over a year ago.

10. Can you sleep with socks on?
- Not really. They usually end up on the floor or lost in the blankets.

11. Do you ever listen to talk radio or podcasts? If you do, what are some of your favorite shows?
- Not really.

12. If you had the chance to see one band, (past or present) live, who would you pick?
- I'd see hide live. His shows looked like a real good time.

13. Do you enjoy camping?
- Sometimes.

14. What do you always take with you when you leave the house?
- Depends. I have specific overnight bags for when I stay somewhere overnight (obviously), but if I'm just leaving for a few minutes, I take my phone, keys, and wallet. A few hours, then I take my purse.

15. Favorite musical artists?
- HIM has been my favorite band since my preteen years. Other than that, I don't really pay much attention, I guess.

16. What is your favorite kind of cheese?
- Pepperjack.

17. What’s your least favorite month?
- August. SO FUCKING HOT, I CAN'T STAND IT.

18. Did you ever have to take home a fake baby in health class?
- Probably. Actually, I think it was a sack of rice.

19. Have you ever baked a pie?
- I've helped my ex's dad bake pies during pie season (late October through the New Year).

20. What is your favorite yogurt topping?
- Granola, duh. Hell, I used to make my own granola. That was a blast and I could put whatever I wanted in it!

( rest behind cut )

comments

ASK ME ANYTHING MEME QUESTION POST

2022-01-20T06:34:07Z

Stealing from a friend on here, but I don't normally do memes like this one. We'll see how many questions I get through DW and LJ combined.

"A meme where you give me topics/prompts/questions to talk about based on what you ask, things you may be curious about or a subject you have wanted to hear my thoughts on. It can be a question, it can be a topic, it can be a theme, or just anything you would like to see me talk about/weigh in on.

The meme is for 30 days but I'll just be doing however many inquires I get."

Ask away! :D

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

comments

365 Questions Meme List

2022-01-20T06:30:06Z

I figured it couldn't hurt to catch up with this and do it. First post with responses to days passed so far will follow shortly.

( list behind cut )

comments

Cowboy Bebop SLAPS

2021-12-14T04:56:23Z

I didn't have high hopes for Netflix's live action adaptation of Cowboy Bebop (after the shit show of Death Note), but I really feel they SLAPPED it in the BEST way! And then I find out they're cancelling after one season, like almost every other time they do something halfway brilliant. Ugh! I'll be the first to admit they changed a lot from the original anime, but they kept the original spirit! And now that they've basically gotten people hooked, now they're leaving us high and dry which is NOT OKAY. WE WANT MORE, NETFLIX. PULL YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASSES.

comments

"Let your desire scream till you feel alive..."

2021-12-09T02:26:36Z

Tonight's ear worm... "Jade" by X Japan.

"Ah, now and forever, you'll be loved.
Let your destiny lead your heart, my Jade."

comments

Purpose and Pandemonium

2021-12-08T09:11:59Z

Crushed by nothing,
each gasp a struggle.
Further, deeper down,
all sight and sound a bit more muffled.
Choking on all the noise that's left,
nothing vibrating to fill the air.
Then this deafening cacophony,
yet giving no source to the root of my despair.

A prism silhouette in the monochrome darkness,
a liberator or protector perhaps.
Presence both strong and gentle,
sense of self escapes me; entangled in a lapse.
Aware of a gentle rocking,
fading in and out of myself.
Not sure if liberated or squandered,
saved or a lonely prize for himself.

Darkness and despair supposedly a memory,
time and again proven true.
Her past continues to haunt and linger,
no matter how many times he follows through.
Despair, anxiety, depression,
she shoves it deep, deep, down a mile.
For all his capability and love,
still cannot perceive the darkness behind her knit brows and smile.

Seasons pass in a slow motion blur,
time and him both tested and worthy.
Maybe he can serve as protector,
if not defeat the darkness then safeguard me.
Next test not for him but for myself,
trust the truth sets us free.
But I have been trapped for so long,
what would I do should he leave?

Fears were naught but self-imposed lies,
tried and tested one more time.
Prism silhouette savior a true guardian,
"Let me protect you, I'll have you as mine."
No longer unsure because of the dissonance,
her answer was an easy one.
Feared the darkness still,
"Thine I will be, my shining sun."

======================================

This is the first poem I've written in... 2 years, according to AllPoetry.com. While I'm pleased with the way the poem turned out, I can't help the feeling the ending turned out kind of weak.

Any suggestions? I'm always open to constructive criticism (and praise!) when it comes to my writing. And with how my mood's been this evening, I could probably use both of those things.

comments

I love food

2021-12-07T04:27:32Z

December 06 → talk about food this year

Let's not. I've eaten WAY TOO MUCH GODDAMN FOOD. Actually, let's discuss it because I fucking love food.

I developed an unhealthy obsession with jalapenos again this year. Mainly of the cream cheese-stuffed and bacon-wrapped variety from the deli at Smith's. SO GOOD. I've also developed a love of tomatoes, which I used to not be able to stand in the least.

I had my first Mars bar recently because I bought Matt a box of 40 of them for Christmas. After reading about them in the first Harry Potter book as a child, it was everything I dreamed it would be.

Next year, I hope to learn some cooking tips to keep up with Matt. He does most of the cooking.

( rest behind cut )

comments

There's too much holiday spirit going around lol

2021-12-06T16:01:49Z

I'm kidding. No such thing as too much spirit. Makes the heart race in a good way.

Chance messaged me. Said she got me a copy of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate for the Switch.

comments

I'm more amused than I should be because I'm very sleep deprived

2020-07-07T23:41:11Z

So I was trying to cheer myself up last night and ended up watching random videos on YouTube and I found this gem~

Starting at 8:41, we have Markiplier saying (regarding his food) "It kind of looks like ass, uh but it tastes amazing. So, just like ass."

Do we have our dear Markiplier admitting that he eats ass like groceries? Not quite, but out of that entire video, that was the 5 seconds that brought me the most amusement, the most joy. And I thought joy was gone for me... so maybe there's a small ray of hope in the form of Markiplier being a goofball on the internet.

DISCLAIMER: Keep in mind that I'm not perving on Markiplier here. Yeah, he's hot and he's always been a low-key crush since forever... but I was just mostly amused by a statement that could've been made by anyone. The fact that it was him is pure coincidence.

comments

Music Monday? Not really. Just a HIM kind of day.

2020-07-07T00:24:27Z

Love's the funeral of hearts
And an ode for cruelty
When angels cry blood
On flowers of evil in bloom

The funeral of hearts
And a plea for mercy
When love is a gun
Separating me from you

EDIT: It's music like this that makes me wish I could still write poetry. Maybe then, these feelings of not wanting to exist wouldn't be so intense.

comments

The box called it a "utility cart"

2020-05-11T21:40:59Z

My granny cart came! And I got it put together!

( pic behind cut )

Ignore the mess in the kitchen lol. But yeah, it's put together and ready for the trip to get chicken and rice! I'll probably head out at around 5pm for Smith's. I should probably make a list since I need milk and a few other things.

comments

Not a fan of the "boy side, girl side" options in this, but I'm bored

2020-05-08T04:45:06Z

( Read more... )

comments

I did this in under half an hour while waiting for my sheets and pillows to dry

2020-05-07T23:22:14Z

1. How many beings live in your house?
Two, at the moment. Just me and my dog, Taz-Mo.

2. Last board game you played?
Apples to Apples. Or is that a card game? Hmmm.

3. Last card game you played?
Apples to Apples?

4. Last thing you ate and when?
It was some kind of chicken in gravy over white rice. Was pretty good.

5. Last thing you got for free?
A ride to club.

( rest behind cut )

comments

A Quarantine Meme I Stole

2020-04-27T03:41:51Z

1. So, how are things with your job? Do you still have a job?
I wasn't working due to disability, so nothing has changed for me in that regard.

2. What's it like in your neighborhood? Are people wearing masks in your area?
My neighborhood is mostly quiet, but a lot of cars still drive by my apartment building. I rarely see my neighbors and couldn't tell you if they wear masks or not.

3. How are your parents dealing with all this? How long did it take for them to start taking this seriously?
My mom's coping, I guess. She's living down in Jackpot, Nevada with her boyfriend and their dog and cat(s?). She comes to Twin sometimes, which proves the rumors of the borders being closed as utter bullshit.

4. Besides job/economy/virus, tell me something you're worried about.
I'm mostly concerned with moving. I'm worried about it, how Taz is going to react on moving day, etc.

5. Tell me about something you're really enjoying right now.
I'm enjoying the extra time with Taz-Mo. And I'm also really enjoying my classes. And Animal Crossing: New Horizons.

6. Tell me about something that changed for the better. Or something you changed that wasn't actually a forced change.
I... really don't know? I'm appreciating the extra time to study and get homework done, but I miss my routine something fierce.

7. What do you hope won't go back to the way it was before?
I hope the world slows down a bit and has a bit more consideration for the environment. Roughly a month into a worldwide lockdown and the earth is already healing. Let's keep it going that way.

comments

365 Day Meme; April 16th and 17th, 2020

2020-04-18T03:31:17Z

365 Day Meme by zhelana

April 16 - Do you take the standard deduction, or itemize?

I don't do taxes, so neither?

April 17 - What do you do with your tax refund?

I don't get a refund, but if I get a stimulus check, I am seriously considering getting a new bed.

comments